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3月11日

Judith Charmers in mens clothing.

Counting down to your holidays.

Why tell us?  The personal message text on messenger can be used for many useful purposes but counting down the days to your holiday isn’t really one of them… we’re not really interested. 

There is someone on my msn list who’s been counting down the days to his holiday starting at 50 and I am quite puzzled as to why.  I can imagine it would be useful to give burglars advance notice so they can plan their diary but why do the rest of us need to know this? Is he expecting a tearful send off?  Best he can hope for I’m afraid is that we mug him on his way to the airport and steal the return portion of his ticket.

We currently stand at 25 days notice.  By now he should have his passport and tickets in an envelope marked ‘don’t forget’ and he should be making a start on his packing always making sure that he ticks every single sock off the 5 page ‘To Do’ list.  He will be phoning the taxi firm every Friday to confirm that they still have his booking for the airport and his milkman will be given a note cancelling his order for 2 weeks… “but shhh, don’t let anyone know I’m away.” 

You just know that anyone who keeps a countdown on msn must be the type to do all of the above.  Maybe he enjoys the preparation more than the holiday, maybe he enjoys talking about it more.  The last man I knew to do this spent a fortnight sat at home with the curtains drawn.

So 25 days to go and then a fortnight of ‘on holiday, back in 14/13/12…. days’ because unfortunately he isn’t going to Afghanistan (my god I so wish) and will have full internet access while he’s away. 

I just hope that when the holiday is over we don’t get a countdown to his ex-wife’s brothers mates’ uncles wedding anniversary.  Please mister don’t bother telling us just **** off.

If you wish to make guesses as to whom I’m referring to in this blog then feel free but don’t expect any confirmation.   

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